Have you ever felt like you’re talking, but your partner isn’t listening? Or maybe someone you love seems distant, overwhelmed or quick to anger? Relationships can be tricky but mental health challenges can make them even harder.
“Mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression and personality disorders can affect relationships in many ways, from communication struggles to emotional regulation and trust,” said Staci Broadwell, PsyD, a psychologist with Banner Health. “A relationship is a great teacher because it shows us what we need to work on to be the best partner we can be. We owe that to ourselves and our loved ones.”
Understanding these challenges can help build stronger relationships and support each other better. Read on to learn how mental health conditions impact relationships and how you can build healthier, more fulfilling connections.
How mental health affects different types of relationships
Mental health struggles affect all kinds of relationships – romantic, friendships and family.
- Romantic relationships: Poor communication and emotional struggles can lead to misunderstandings, arguments and one partner pulling away.
- Friendships: Anxiety or depression can make it hard to stay in touch, causing distance and isolation.
- Family relationships: PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), addiction or trust issues may make it difficult to set healthy boundaries, leading to tension.
“People may sabotage healthy relationships because of past trauma, difficulty trusting others, and struggling with emotional regulation,” Dr. Broadwell said. “Sometimes, it’s also difficult for people to fully trust themselves to know if a relationship is safe or not.”
Common relationship challenges caused by mental health disorders
1. Communication problems
Mental health disorders can make it hard for people to share their thoughts and feelings.
- Anxiety: Overthinking or avoiding tough conversations.
- Depression: Withdrawing and having low energy to communicate.
- Personality disorders, like borderline personality disorder (BPD): Strong emotions that can make conversations feel unpredictable.
“It can be difficult for people with mental health issues to articulate what they feel,” Dr. Broadwell said. “This is often because they never learned how to communicate in a healthy way due to attachment trauma in childhood. This trauma can make talking about feelings even more challenging in close relationships.”
2. Trouble managing emotions
Managing emotions is important in any relationship but some mental health conditions may make this hard.
- Bipolar disorder: Mood swings that can cause extreme highs and lows, making it hard to stay calm.
- PTSD: Emotional shutdowns or sudden outbursts.
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): Repetitive thoughts or behaviors that may affect daily interactions with others.
“Many people struggle to soothe themselves to help regulate their emotions enough to be able to communicate in a relationship,” Dr. Broadwell said. “The inability to self-soothe will cause great difficulty with being able to express needs and work through problems in a healthy way.”
3. Trust issues
Some mental health disorders make trusting others difficult.
- BPD: Fear of being left (abandoned), leading to pushing others away.
- Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD): Trouble admitting mistakes or showing empathy.
- PTSD: Past trauma can make it hard to believe others have good intentions.
“If you grew up in an environment where your feelings were met with shame, anger or abuse by your caregivers, you might subconsciously re-enact that dynamic in adult relationships,” Dr. Broadwell said.
[Also read “How Emotionally Immature Parents Can Affect Your Life.”]
4. Conflict and self-sabotage
Mental health struggles can also lead to more fights or people unknowingly hurting their own relationships.
- BPD: Big mood swings can lead to fights and pushing others away because they fear being abandoned.
- Depression or anxiety: Avoiding conflict or pulling away instead of solving problems.
- Past trauma: Repeating unhealthy patterns or sabotaging relationships.
“People often hurt their relationships without realizing it,” Dr. Broadwell said. “This usually happens when they’re scared of rejection or don’t know how to handle conflicts without getting overwhelmed.”
How to build healthier relationships
If you or someone you know is dealing with mental health struggles, these strategies can help you both strengthen your relationship:
Seek professional support
Therapy can be life changing. Individual therapy helps manage mental health symptoms, while couples or family therapy can improve communication and understanding.
“Seeing a therapist can help you practice healthy communication and emotional regulation,” Dr. Broadwell said. “It may also be necessary to consider psychiatric medication, depending on the diagnosis and severity of symptoms.”
Improve communication
Better communication can prevent misunderstandings and fights. Try these tips:
- Listen actively: Focus on what the other person says instead of thinking about your response. Repeat back what you hear them say to confirm your understanding.
- Set clear boundaries: Establish what’s okay and what’s not to protect each other’s well-being.
- Using “I” statements: Instead of blaming, express how you feel: “I feel hurt when …”
Dr. Broadwell also encourages partners to explore their loved one’s triggers with a therapist.
“Understanding what triggers mental health challenges in relationships can help you respond to your partner in a healthier way and not re-enact unhealthy communication dynamics,” she said.
Work on trust
If you’re struggling with trust issues, you may benefit from identifying patterns in your relationships:
- Do I push away people who care about me?
- Do I ignore red flags in unhealthy relationships?
- Do I struggle to believe I deserve love?
Awareness of these patterns can help break unhealthy cycles and build stronger connections.
Support your loved one (without losing yourself)
If your partner, friend or family member has a mental health condition, support them without sacrificing your own well-being.
Dr. Broadwell suggests:
- Learning about your loved one’s mental health condition so you can respond in a loving and supportive way. Resources such as therapy, books and support groups can provide valuable information and insight.
- Setting healthy boundaries in communication to prevent unhealthy cycles.
- Attending therapy (individually, as a couple or family) to develop productive communication skills.
“Partners and loved ones should also learn how to support someone during a mental health episode,” Dr. Broadwell said. “This will look different depending on the diagnosis; however, therapy can help navigate these moments in a healthier way.”
Practice self-care
Supporting someone with a mental health condition can be emotionally draining. Make sure you:
- Take time for yourself.
- Do things that bring you joy.
- Set boundaries to protect your own mental health.
Final thoughts: Stronger together
Mental health disorders can make relationships challenging, but they don’t make love, friendship or family bonds impossible. You can navigate these obstacles and build strong, lasting relationships with understanding, communication and support.
If someone you care about is struggling, find help. Mental health matters — not just for individuals but for the relationships we hold dear.
Need support? Talk to a behavioral health specialist at Banner Behavioral Health.
