Do you ever feel like you’re doing a lot but not getting the credit for it? Maybe you’re always thinking about what needs to get done. You make sure everyone is taken care of. Yet no one seems to notice. This is called invisible labor and it’s something many people deal with every day.
“Invisible labor is the mental, emotional and practical tasks that keep a household or family running smoothly,” said Carmen Mendoza, a licensed professional counselor with Banner - University Medicine. “Even though it takes up a lot of time and energy, it’s unpaid and undervalued.”
It’s more than just washing dishes or making meals. It’s also the planning, worrying, remembering and organizing that keeps everything on track.
Often these invisible tasks fall on one person — maybe you. Unofficially, you become the project manager. Over time, this can take a toll on your mental health and relationships, breeding resentment and emotional distance.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, some of that stress may stem from invisible labor. Invisible labor can be burdensome. Discover ways to lighten the load and restore balance to your life.
What does invisible labor look like?
Invisible labor includes all the little and big things that go unnoticed but are necessary for a smooth-running home. This kind of labor is often invisible because it doesn’t always have a clear end or finish line. You might do a lot of planning and organizing, but it’s not always something you can show others.
Invisible labor includes things like:
- Keeping track of appointments, school events or family schedules
- Doing mental checklists for tasks that need to be done, even if they don’t get done right away
- Making sure everyone feels emotionally supported, like checking in on loved one’s feelings
- Keeping a mental inventory of what food is in your pantry and fridge
- Planning family meals or organizing grocery shopping
- Taking care of everyone’s needs, even when you’re feeling tired or overwhelmed
How invisible labor affects your health and well-being
“Even though the labor is invisible, carrying the mental and emotional load can affect your mental and physical health,” Mendoza said.
Over time, invisible labor can affect you in several ways:
- Stress and mental health: Constantly taking care of others or managing a household can lead to stress. Too much stress can make you feel anxious and depressed.
- Physical fatigue: When your mind is constantly busy, it can leave you feeling physically drained. You might not have the energy to do other things or care for yourself.
- Burnout: Invisible labor can lead to burnout when you constantly work without taking time for yourself. You might feel like you’re running on empty.
- Sleep problems: Juggling a lot can make it hard to relax, leading to trouble sleeping.
- Relationships: If one person does most of the invisible labor, it can lead to feelings of frustration or imbalance in relationships.
“When you feel tired, frustrated or unappreciated, you may become more irritable, less patient and easily overwhelmed,” Mendoza said. “You may lose your temper or yell at the kids, your partner or others more often.”
These behaviors are signs that invisible labor is taking a toll on your well-being. It’s important to find ways to share the workload and reduce stress.
How to end invisible labor
The good news is you don’t have to carry this burden alone. Mendoza shared steps you can take to share responsibilities and create a more balanced, healthier life for everyone.
1. Recognize the labor
The first step is to make invisible labor visible. Take a moment to notice all the tasks you’re doing. Are you always the one making sure appointments are scheduled? Do you always remind others of their responsibilities? Recognizing what tasks are taking up your time can help you understand just how much invisible labor you carry.
2. Communicate
“Communicate openly about emotions and concerns with your partner and family,” Mendoza said.
Let them know you are carrying a heavy load and need support. This can help you feel validated and listened to, which can help you make positive changes in the future.
[Need help with communication? Check out “How Love Languages Can Help Partners Communicate.”]
3. Make a plan
Think about all the tasks that need to be done, like cleaning, cooking or paying bills. Write them down and decide what needs to be done right away and what can wait. This plan will help everyone know what needs to be done and when. If it helps, write them down and put them in a place everyone can see.
4. Delegate tasks
Give specific jobs to each person based on what they can do and when they’re available. Delegating helps spread the work so no one feels too stressed or overloaded.
For example, instead of saying, “We need to clean the house,” say, “Can you vacuum the living room today?” This makes the task clear and more manageable.
5. Set boundaries
Sometimes, invisible labor feels like it is endless. You can’t do everything, and it’s OK to say no. Setting boundaries protects your time and energy. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, let others know you need a break and can’t take on more right now. Saying no is not selfish — it’s necessary for your mental health.
6. Prioritize self-care
Invisible labor often means putting others first. But it’s important to take care of yourself too.
“Taking care of yourself can reduce stress and help you feel more balanced,” Mendoza said. “Being mindful of taking time to practice self-care is key to slowing down mental and physical burnout.”
Some simple self-care tips include:
- Taking breaks from house chores
- Doing activities you enjoy
- Socializing with friends or family
- Exercising to release tension and boost your mood
Bottom line
Invisible labor is real and can affect your health, well-being and relationships. Don’t carry it alone. Take steps to address invisible labor, make relationships more equitable and help prevent burnout. Don’t be afraid to speak up, set boundaries and prioritize self-care.
If you find that invisible labor is still overwhelming, or if you’re struggling to talk about it with your family, consider speaking with a therapist or a Banner Health specialist. A therapist can help guide these conversations and offer strategies to manage stress and improve communication.
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