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10 Tips to Manage Wedding Planning Stress and Anxiety

You’re engaged — congratulations! A magical proposal and sharing the news with your family and friends. You must feel like you are on cloud nine. 

But once the initial buzz settles, the reality of planning a wedding starts to sink in. Where do you even begin? Your to-do list is growing, from booking a venue to ordering flowers. Your mom is harping on you to invite a long-lost cousin and your bank account is starting to see red. Your excitement is quickly turning into stress and anxiety.

Don’t worry — you’re not alone. A survey of over 4,000 engaged couples by Zola found that more than half described wedding planning as stressful and overwhelming. 

“Some of the most common stressors couples face are unrealistic expectations about the day, trying to please family members and friends and not starting the planning process soon enough,” said Alyssa Bowman, LMFT, a mental health counselor with Banner Health and wedding planner. “You may have others who want to help but don’t know how to help, so they create ways to help that may not be helpful at all.”

First, take a deep breath. Before you let the stress of wedding planning affect your well-being and relationships, here are 10 ways to calm your nerves and make this experience more enjoyable. 

Ten tips to reduce wedding stress

These tried-and-true methods can help manage stress before your wedding day: 

1. Start early

Know that it takes time to plan a wedding. “My most successful couples start the wedding planning process six to 12 months before the wedding,” Bowman said. 

2. Set a realistic budget and timeline

“Have a clear picture in your mind of what you’d like to have happen on the day of the wedding,” Bowman said. Prioritize what’s most important and align your time, energy and finances accordingly.  

Money is often one of the biggest stressors in wedding planning. Sit down with your partner and agree on a realistic budget. A clear budget can help you prioritize expenses and what matters most and help avoid surprises later. 

Create a timeline with key milestones and break tasks into smaller steps so the process feels less overwhelming. Use calendar reminders and wedding planning apps to stay on track. Knowing what needs to be done and when will help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

3. Delegate tasks

You don’t have to do everything yourself. Trust those around you to support and assist with the planning process. 

“Don’t be afraid to enlist the support and help with direct tasks that can be done by those who want to help with the process,” Bowman said. “But remember: this is your day so have strong boundaries with family and friends.”

4. Hire a wedding planner

“If your budget allows, having a wedding planner can be a great asset to the planning process,” Bowman said. 

A wedding planner can ensure everything runs smoothly and take a load off your plate. You can hire someone from start to finish or just to help on your wedding day to ensure things go without a hitch.

5. Limit opinions

Too many cooks in the kitchen can be chaotic. Remember, healthy boundaries!

Decide whose input truly matters and set boundaries. Have regular check-ins with your partner to ensure you’re both on the same page and help prevent misunderstanding or confusion. Working as a team will make planning easier and strengthen your relationship as you approach the big day together.

6. Maintain a healthy balance

“Schedule time to work on the wedding like you would a job, with a start and end time,” Bowman said. “Then schedule time to take care of your mental health.”

Go on dates with your partner with the rule of no wedding planning during the dates. Do things every day that bring you joy and don’t involve wedding planning. 

“When stress levels increase, you need to increase time dedicated to self-care,” Bowman said. “Exercise, eat well and get enough sleep to maintain balance.”

7. Be flexible

Not everything will go as planned. Be prepared for unexpected changes, hiccups and last-minute surprises, whether it’s a vendor cancellation or a weather issue. Staying adaptable will help you manage stress and find solutions with a clear head. 

8. Just breathe

Feeling overwhelmed? Just breathe. Bowman offers quick and effective stress-relief techniques:

  • Deep breathing: Place one hand on your belly. Place the other hand on your chest. Breathe in through your nose. Fill your belly with air. Breathe out through your nose. As you breathe in, feel your belly rise. Take three more full, deep breaths. 
  • Three sharp breaths: Take three sharp breaths in through your nose and one very slow, long breath out through your mouth.
  • Positive reminders: Tell yourself that things have a knack for working out when it comes to wedding planning.
  • Seek support: Talk through the challenges you face with someone you trust. Sometimes, just venting your worries to someone who understands can help put things into perspective. 
9. Look into counseling

Maybe you have a nagging mother (or mother-in-law-to-be) driving you up the walls. Maybe you are just feeling stuck and finding the whole wedding process overwhelming. Or perhaps you and your partner are having trouble seeing eye to eye on wedding details. Speaking with a therapist or counselor can provide coping strategies and support.  

Many couples find pre-marital counseling helpful. It gives you space to talk about concerns and improve your communication skills

10. Focus on what matters most

It’s easy to get caught up in the small details. Remember the reason behind the wedding — celebrating your love. Focus on what’s truly important to you and your partner.
“Wedding planning stress is temporary,” Bowman said. “Treat yourself with compassion and enjoy the journey together.”

Takeaway

Wedding planning can be stressful. By staying organized, communicating openly, setting some healthy boundaries and giving yourself some self-care, you can reduce stress and focus on what truly matters: your special day and the love you share. 

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