Lots of people feel nervous or overwhelmed during doctor’s visits. If you’re a young woman, you might not be sure how to bring up something personal. You might worry about being misunderstood, rushed or overlooked or feel like your concerns are being brushed aside.
You can learn how to advocate for yourself, starting with the way you talk to your doctor. Taking an active role in your medical care can help you get better results and improve your confidence.
“We are often the best advocates for ourselves,” said Joy Bulger Beck, MD, an internal medicine specialist with Banner - University Medicine Multispecialty Services Clinic Tucson. Dr. Beck explained more about how young women can feel heard and understood and get the most from their appointments.
Why does advocating for yourself matter?
Research shows that young women’s symptoms, especially pain, fatigue or mood changes, may be dismissed, delayed or blamed on something other than the actual cause.
Speaking up can help you:
- Get the right diagnosis and care
- Build confidence in your health journey
- Spot red flags when something doesn’t feel right
- Form a better relationship with your care team
- Feel more certain your problems are being taken seriously and your questions have been answered honestly
- Understand your options, next steps or tests
- Decide to switch providers if you don’t feel heard or respected
How can you prepare for your doctor’s appointment?
“From a physician’s perspective, there’s a lot happening during each visit and especially a first visit. We’re thinking through many possible issues, trying to address immediate concerns and also focusing on preventing future illness,” Dr. Beck said.
As a patient, feeling prepared can make a big difference. These tips may help:
- Write down your top one or two concerns, symptoms or questions. Put the most important one first. “If you have additional issues going on, it’s helpful to share them with your provider so you can work together to decide what’s most important to address first. When too many concerns are tackled at once, it can be harder to give each one the attention it deserves,” Dr. Beck said.
- Bring your medication list, including over-the-counter (OTC) medications, herbs and supplements. “These can cause side effects or interact with other treatments,” Dr. Beck said.
- Be prepared to share a brief health history that includes information about your period, mental health, allergies and any family conditions.
- Note when concerns started, how severe they are and what helps or makes them worse.
- For issues like headaches, stomachaches or menstrual concerns, it’s helpful to keep a symptom diary. “These details can give your doctor valuable clues about what might be causing or triggering your symptoms,” Dr. Beck said.
- Note when the symptoms occur and anything that might be related:
- What you ate or drank
- Medications or substances like alcohol or drugs you used
- Your mood or stress level
- Where you were in your menstrual cycle
- Think about your goals. Are you looking for answers? A referral? A treatment plan?
- If you’re nervous, bring a friend or family member for support.
How can you talk with your doctor during the visit?
You don’t need to have all the right words and it’s OK if you feel awkward. Doctors have heard it all.
“Be clear, specific and honest about what you’re experiencing,” Dr. Beck said. “It’s very helpful to know what you’re most concerned about, whether you’re experiencing any symptoms and how those symptoms affect your daily life.”
Good starter questions
- What could be causing this?
- What tests do I need?
- What are the risks or side effects of this medication?
- What options do I have for treatment and what are the pros and cons?
- What should I watch for?
- When should I follow up?
Other helpful tips
- Avoid minimizing, excusing or downplaying your symptoms.
- Be specific. For example, instead of saying, “I’ve been kind of tired,” say “I’ve been exhausted for two weeks and can’t get through the day.”
- Explain how your symptoms make daily life harder, like missing class or work, not sleeping or feeling anxious.
- Share your concerns even if they conflict with testing. For example, “I feel like something’s not right, even if my labs look normal.”
- Ask for explanations in simpler language if you’re not sure what something means.
- Take notes or ask the doctor to write down instructions and next steps.
Feeling dismissed or rushed
If you feel dismissed or rushed, remember that you deserve to be taken seriously. Speaking up does not mean you are being difficult, it means you are being responsible for your health. It’s okay to pause and say:
- “I don’t feel like my concerns are being addressed.”
- “Can we spend a few more minutes on this? It’s really bothering me.”
- “Can you help me understand why this isn’t a concern?”
- “Would it make sense to get a second opinion?”
Follow up and stay involved
After your appointment, follow up and stay involved in your care. Don’t be afraid to call or message your provider if symptoms continue or you forgot to ask something. Track changes and keep notes for your next appointment.
“It’s not always possible to cover everything in a single appointment. You can say something like, ‘I know time is limited, but this is important to me and I’d like to make sure we discuss it.’ If there isn’t enough time, ask about scheduling a follow-up visit,” Dr. Beck said.
It can take multiple visits, follow-ups and time to review test results or see how treatments are working.
“Clearly expressing your concerns, working with your doctor to prioritize what matters most, and trying to follow up with the same provider or health system can make a big difference. It helps you avoid starting over each time and ensures your care builds on previous visits,” Dr. Beck said.
However, don’t be afraid to switch providers if you don’t feel like it’s a good fit. Advocacy also means knowing when to find a provider who listens and supports your needs. Trust and communication are key. It’s important to have a provider who respects your concerns, even if you're young and look “healthy.”
If you’re changing providers, decide if you’d feel more comfortable with a woman or someone who specializes in young adult care.
Take action for your health
Keep in mind that advocacy is a skill and it gets easier with practice. You don’t have to know everything. You just have to start asking questions, sharing honestly and trusting your instincts. Being your own advocate is one of the most powerful things you can do.
At Banner Health, we’re here to support your health goals at every stage of life. Our providers take the time to listen, answer questions and help you feel seen and heard. Find a Banner Health provider who will listen to your concerns and support your health goals.
