You know your body and you know when something does not feel right. So it can be frustrating to leave a doctor’s appointment feeling like your concerns were not heard or your questions were not answered.
Maybe your symptoms were blamed on stress, aging or lifestyle. Maybe your test results were normal but you still do not feel well. Or maybe you simply did not understand why your health care provider recommended one approach instead of another.
Speaking up for yourself does not mean arguing with your doctor or assuming they are wrong. It means asking questions, sharing what matters to you and making sure you understand the plan before you leave.
Here are ways to advocate for yourself when you do not feel heard.
First, try to identify what feels unresolved
Sometimes the problem is clear: You felt rushed or dismissed. Other times, you may simply leave with the sense that your concerns were not fully addressed.
Ask yourself:
- Did I get an answer to my main question?
- Do I understand what might be causing my symptoms?
- Do I know why a test or treatment was or was not recommended?
- Do I understand what happens next?
- Do I know when I should follow up?
- Did I have a chance to explain how the problem affects my daily life?
Feeling unheard does not always mean your provider did not listen. There may be medical reasons why a test, medication or treatment is not recommended. But you should understand the reasoning and know what to do next.
Say clearly that you are still concerned
Doctors cannot always tell when a patient is still worried, especially during a busy appointment. It is OK to say so directly.
You might say:
- “I’m still worried about this. Can you help me understand why you’re not concerned?”
- “I don’t think I explained how much this is affecting my daily life.”
- “I still have questions before we move on.”
- “Can we go over the plan one more time?”
You do not need medical language or the perfect words. Being clear and direct can help your provider understand what still needs attention.
For more tips based on age and life stage, read How to Talk to Your Doctor: A Young Woman’s Guide to Advocacy or Tips for Communicating With Your Doctor as a Senior.
Be specific about what has changed
A symptom such as pain, tiredness or dizziness can mean many different things. Details can help your health care provider better understand what is happening.
Try to explain:
- When the problem started
- How often it happens
- How long it lasts
- Whether it is getting better or worse
- What makes it better or worse
- What you have already tried
- What other symptoms happen at the same time
It is also important to explain how the problem affects your life.
Instead of saying, “I’m tired all the time,” you might say:
- “I used to walk for 30 minutes and now I need to stop after 10.”
- “I am too tired to make dinner after work.”
- “The pain wakes me up three or four nights a week.”
- “I have stopped going out because I am worried I will get dizzy.”
This information can sometimes be as helpful as describing the symptom itself.
For general help getting ready for appointments, read 5 Tips for Easier Visits With Your Doctor.
Ask your doctor to explain the reasoning
You may not agree with a recommendation because you do not understand how your provider reached it.
Rather than asking only, “Why won’t you order this test?” try asking:
- “What do you think is the most likely cause?”
- “What other causes have you considered?”
- “What makes you think this test would not be helpful?”
- “What are the risks or downsides of this treatment?”
- “What would make you change the plan?”
- “Are there other options we could consider?”
There are many reasons a doctor may not recommend a test or treatment. A test may be unlikely to provide useful information. A medication may have risks that outweigh its possible benefits. Your symptoms may need time to develop a clearer pattern.
Understanding the reason can help you make decisions about your care together.
Ask what happens if the plan does not work
Not every health problem can be diagnosed or treated in one appointment.
Before you leave, ask:
- How long should it take for me to feel better?
- What should I do if my symptoms do not improve?
- What changes should I watch for?
- When should I contact you again?
- What symptoms need urgent or emergency care?
- What is the next step if this treatment does not help?
This gives you a backup plan instead of leaving you wondering when or whether to seek care again.
Know what to ask when test results are normal
It can be especially frustrating when test results are normal but you still do not feel well.
Normal results may answer some questions without explaining all your symptoms. You can ask:
- What have these tests ruled out?
- What have they not ruled out?
- Could this problem need a different type of test?
- Could it take time for a clearer pattern to develop?
- When should we check again?
- What should I track in the meantime?
Do not assume you need every possible test. More testing is not always helpful. The goal is to understand what the results mean and what the next step should be.
Read When Normal Test Results Don’t Explain How You Feel for more about what normal results may mean and questions to ask.
Ask for information in a different way
Health information can be hard to understand, especially when you are sick, worried or hearing a lot of information at once.
It is OK to say:
- “Can you explain that in simpler terms?”
- “Can you write down the next steps?”
- “Can you show me what you mean?”
- “I want to make sure I understand. Can I repeat the plan back to you?”
You can also take notes or bring a trusted family member or friend when appropriate.
Before you leave, try to make sure you understand:
- What your provider thinks may be happening
- What you are supposed to do next
- How and when to take any medications
- When to follow up
- Who to contact if you have questions
Consider a follow-up visit
Some issues cannot be fully discussed during one appointment, especially when several health concerns need attention.
A follow-up visit may give you and your provider more time to:
- Review symptoms in more detail
- See whether anything has changed
- Discuss test results
- Check how a treatment is working
- Decide whether another type of care is needed
You may also be able to ask brief follow-up questions through your patient portal. Ask your care team how they prefer to handle questions after a visit.
Know when to consider another opinion
You can ask for another medical opinion when you are unsure about a diagnosis or treatment plan.
A second opinion may be helpful when:
- You have been diagnosed with a serious or complex condition
- You are considering major surgery or treatment
- There is more than one reasonable treatment option
- You do not understand or feel comfortable with the recommended plan
- Your symptoms continue without a clear explanation
Seeking another opinion does not always mean you distrust your doctor. Another provider may confirm the original recommendation or offer a different perspective.
Learn more in Should I Get a Second Opinion?.
Recognize when the relationship may not be a good fit
One rushed or frustrating appointment does not always mean you need a new doctor. Misunderstandings can happen and many can be resolved by talking openly.
But it may be time to consider another provider if you repeatedly:
- Cannot ask questions
- Leave without understanding the plan
- Feel that your concerns are brushed aside
- Feel disrespected
- Do not feel comfortable sharing important information
- Have lost trust in the relationship
A good doctor-patient relationship does not mean you will always agree. It means you should be able to ask questions, discuss your concerns and understand how decisions about your care are being made.
If you are considering a change, read How to Choose a Doctor Who Is the Right Fit for You.
The bottom line
Advocating for yourself does not mean demanding a certain test, diagnosis or treatment. It means making sure your health care provider understands what you are experiencing and that you understand the recommended next steps.
Be specific about your symptoms. Say when you are still concerned. Ask your provider to explain their reasoning and find out what to do if the plan does not work.
You and your health care provider are working toward the same goal: understanding your health concerns and finding the right next step.
A Banner Health provider can work with you to understand your concerns, answer your questions and help you make informed decisions about your care.
