A cesarean section, or C-section, is a major surgery to deliver a baby. Whether it’s planned or unexpected, it can bring a mix of emotions: excitement, anxiety, relief and maybe a little fear. The truth is, as a partner, your support matters more than ever.
While your partner focuses on delivering your baby, you have an important role to play, too. Your support can ease her stress, comfort her through recovery and help create a strong foundation for this next chapter.
To help you show up for your partner, we spoke with Jenny Pearson, a childbirth educator with Banner Children’s. She shared real, helpful advice on how you can be there physically and emotionally before, during and after surgery.
Before the c-section
Even before surgery day, there’s a lot you can do to be helpful and involved.
Take a class
Take a childbirth or prenatal class together and read up on the process. Many classes include info on C-sections. Read about what to expect. Ask the health care provider questions. The more you understand, the more confident you’ll feel.
Take a hospital tour
Knowing what to expect can calm your nerves. Sometimes, it’s the unexpected that makes many new parents nervous.
“To remove some of the mystery of a C-section and even vaginal birth, most hospitals offer in-person or virtual labor and delivery unit tours, including the birthing suites and postpartum rooms,” Pearson said.
Pack the essentials
Make sure the hospital bag has everything your partner needs, like comfy clothes, lip balm, a phone charger and snacks. Add a few things for yourself, too — you’ll be there for a while.
During the C-section
You might not be the one undergoing surgery, but your support in the room still means a lot.
Be a calm presence
Hold your partner’s hand. Talk to her. Tell her how strong she is. Even just sitting close and being there can bring comfort.
Don’t feel bad if you get woozy
It happens. You’ll likely sit near your partner’s head during surgery. There will be a curtain so that you won’t see much. But if you start to feel lightheaded, let the medical team know. They’ve seen it all and can help.
“The medical team has ways to help you, whether through conversation as a distraction or with an ammonia inhalant or smelling salts to prevent fainting,” Pearson said. “We always encourage partners to eat a good breakfast before surgery to help avoid this feeling.”
Be ready to meet your baby
Sometimes, your partner won’t be able to hold the baby right away. Snuggle your newborn and bring the baby over to meet your partner. If possible, your partner may wish to have skin-to-skin contact with the baby, which is important for everyone.
After the C-section
C-section is a major surgery. Once the baby is here, your partner will need you more than ever, especially during recovery.
Understand recovery
Recovery usually takes six to eight weeks, but every person is different.
“Physically, she will experience pain and soreness around the incision site, which can last for weeks,” Pearson said. “She might also feel tired, have moving limitations, lifting restrictions and other side effects like bloating and constipation.”
Offer physical support
Help with household tasks, cooking and newborn care to allow your partner to focus on healing. Take over diaper changes, burping, bath time or night feedings to let your partner rest or shower.
“If she is breastfeeding, bring her water or a snack while she’s feeding the baby,” Pearson said. “She’ll also need help getting in and out of bed and managing activities that involve bending, twisting and lifting.”
Offer emotional support
The emotional side of recovery is just as important.
“There is a massive hormone shift after birth that can lead to the baby blues in the first three weeks,” Pearson said. “Your partner may feel joy and relief but also sadness, disappointment or frustration.”
Be patient and gentle. Ask how she’s doing — then ask how she’s really doing.
“Listening is more important than what is said at this stage,” Pearson said. “Validate her feelings. Tell your partner she’s doing an amazing job and that the baby is lucky to have her.”
Watch for warning signs
Look for signs of infection, such as fever, redness, swelling or unusual discharge, at the incision site (where the C-section was performed).
Emotional red flags like ongoing sadness, withdrawal or hopelessness could point to postpartum depression, a common perinatal mood and anxiety disorder (PMAD).
Don’t hesitate to contact your partner’s health care provider or a therapist. Some additional resources include:
- Postpartum Support International: Text “Help” to 800-944-4773.
- Banner Pregnancy and Postpartum Adjustment Support Group: Register online for the free and virtual sessions.
- You’ve Got This: A free and virtual monthly support group. Register online or call 800-230-2273.
Don’t overthink it … just be present
Keep the line of communication open. Don’t judge or try to fix things for your partner.
“Try to notice her needs before she can even say them, whether it’s food, a shower or time to herself,” Pearson said. “Consistency means everything.”
And if you’re unsure what to do? “Hang out with her while she’s nursing, cook a few meals or order a pizza,” Pearson said. “Just showing and caring makes a big difference.”
Takeaway
Supporting your partner through a C-section involves preparation, presence and ongoing care. Your involvement can greatly impact her recovery and your baby’s early days. Remember: You’re in this together.
Expecting a baby soon? Find a Banner Health specialist near you who can guide you through pregnancy and postpartum.
